Fly or Die?

fly or die

Thursday, September 30, 2004
Kancil Night Safari Oct 1 at Sunway Lagoon Hotel & Resort Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the Kancil Night Safari. If you've never visited the Kancil Night Safari, please join me on this virtual tour. Hop along now on our imaginary monorail and enter into the wonderful world of the advertising animals. May I remind you to not feed the animals and keep your hands on your mouse at all times. Let's go. [SFX: Squeaking wheels on rail tracks] On your right, grazing gently on the slopes are the Giraffes. Their long necks, permanently angled out, helps them catch the action on stage. They chew quietly with their herd and will slink back into the shade immediately after the last award is given out. Next to the giraffes, are the lovable creates native to Australia, the Koala Bears. You may have to strain your eyes because they are usually camouflaged against the bar stool, hugging it with their sharp claws. After Kancil Nights, Koala Bears have been reported to have hangovers up to 19 hours the day after. On the far left, we have the Hyenas. The Hyena is a master of the scare tactic - spots a gruesome face and a bloodcurdling howl. But, they are not very effective hunters and usually feast on trophies by other hunters, as if their own. These noisy animals make a maniacal laughing sound when posing with others' trophies. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we have just entered the Butterfly Farm. Under this canopy, you'll see a multitude of beautiful, exotic and very colourful butterflies. They flit around cutely looking for the best nectar. To observe one, just station yourself near a gwei-lo. After a few minutes, a butterfly will perch on his arm. Oh, I see you've managed to land a butterfly. Lucky you. Won't you love to pin one down? But please, remember, these are night safari butterflies. They won't look so good in the morning. Ah, now to my favourite area - the Monkeys. The liveliest bunch in the zoo. They hoot and howl whenever their agency's name is called. [SFX: Monkeys hooting] Many don't get the big banana, but throw them a few peanuts and see them jump really high. Now, observe on your right ... submerged under the muddy waters. You see them? The Hippotamus. On Kancil Night, many finally see these trusty, faithful creatures come out of the back rooms. Feast your eyes on them while you can. Because after the last dish on the 8-course menu, they will be heading back to the mud to finish more visuals and F.A., before the night is over. And finally, we reach the Lions' den - the majestic kings of the advertising jungle. Listen to that roar! [SFX: ROOOAAAARRRR!!!] It's been said that a Lion's roar can send shivers down the necks of many an account manager. Lions usually leave the night with a haul of trophies - all without having to run very much. That's because truly great Lions are geniuses, blessed with an eye for brilliant lionesses, who do their bidding. Now, spot the Lionesses, they are the ones without the name, er... I mean the mane, and a lot less majestic, usually seated just a little off the spotlight, wondering why she has to bring home the meat for the S.O.B. And with that, ladies and gentlemen, we have come to the end of our tour. I hope you have had an educational time and enjoyed it as much as I have. Don't forget to pick up your fake Kancil certificate in our souvenir shop. Good night and see you again, next year. Pencil chewed at 3:07:00 pm //
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