Fly or Die?

fly or die

Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Project A, Part 2 Despite my caffeine deficiency Project A with Jenna is inching along. Big Billy has okayed some scamps. Yay! Anyhoo, yesterday we were working till late. Just the two of us. I was sitting next to her, watching her mouse on her Mac. She was quiet, unusually so. No breeze. No chirp. Ignore it, I warned myself, ignore it. Get this done and go home. Then, I heard myself say, "Some thing bothering you?" I kicked the softie side of me. Now, she's going to transform into a fly-trap and I'll get caught in some sob story. She shook her head, "Nothing!" Gawd, do I have to cajol too? But I hate unfinished business, so I tried again. "You want to talk about it?" Some one, give me a medal for thick-skinness. She shook her head again. But her eyes were getting red and her face matched the magenta on the visual. "Okay, okay. Stop," I said, "Obviously something is wrong. Some thing happened? At home? Problem with boyfriend? Er... problem with ... em ... me?" "Noooo," she added quickly, which was a consolation because if she hesitated, it would have meant that I was a total bitch, "you are very nice to me." "Really?" I laughed uneasily to mask the guilt for all the bad feelings I had about her. "I'm not cut out for advertising," she said. "Why do you say so?" I asked. "I just can't seem to ... like ... you know, come up with great ideas," she said, fighting her sobs. "Hey, you're not alone, girl," I tried to laugh it off. But she didn't share my humour. "I mean, you and Heng ... did so many great campaigns ... and I feel so bad ... so bad for being such a bad partner. I'm ... I'm ... just not good enough." That was the cue for the dam wall to explode. I did the only thing I knew. I stood up and shouted. "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE NOT CUT OUT FOR ADVERTISING. If this tiny obstacle is gonna throw you off track, you might as well pack your bags and go." I paused for drama, then added in a barely audible voice, "If you don't believe in yourself, no one will." Her sobbing stopped. Her big watery eyes wide in horror. Then, enlightenment. I pat myself on the back and went home. Pencil chewed at 3:08:00 pm //
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